How to Create a Pokemon Mary Sue
by SL - Writer
Summary: For all of those weirdos out there who wanna read about a Pokemon Mary-Sue.
1. The Entrance

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Pokemon, nor do I own any of the canons. The only thing I own is this Mary-Sue I'm placing in the character's world. . Poor canon characters.

**Author's Note:** Well, I was totally inspired by nedthejanitor to write a Parody. I was reading his Yu-Gi-Oh! one and I thought, "hey, I should make a Pokemon one"! Thanks for the inspiration! -To read his parody, see my profile and look under 'favorite authors'.

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**First, remember to give the Sue a really long and really hard name:**

When Raven Dal'ea Hunter Summers Pretty Pants Never-Does-Anything-Wrong Miss Perfect was born, the doctors were stunned. Not because she had come out so perfectly, but because her mother _actually_ chose that name for her. I mean, honestly, what kind of name is that?

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**Second, remember that the Sue should have a huge entrance, choose any variation of the following:**

Ash and Company were walking along a strange new path in a strange new forest and heard a strange new sound. A scream. But not just any scream; the scream was so angelic and beautiful – not too high-pitched at all – that Ash and his friends, and that annoying yellow rat, absolutely had to go check it out. Once they merged on the scene of the crime, they saw a beautiful young girl. Her hair was blonde with red, brown, and darker blonde streaks with a bit of purple in her bangs. It was absolutely perfect, not rivaled by anything but the girl's eyes, which was a mix of blue, green, brown, and grey. They were absolutely gorgeous. The mixture of colors were perfect.

In all the ruckus, the author of the story completely forgot the character was in danger, and Ash, that girl, Brocko, and whatever the rat-thing was ran up to her, asking her name. B-Ry grabbed her hands, "hello, beautiful young angel, do you want to run off with me, elope, and name our nine children after me?" he asked, getting dragged off by his ear because of a jealous red-headed girl whose name just happens to be a type of condensation. Ash ran up to the girl, "hi, I'm Ash Ketchum! I'm aiming to be a Pokemon Master! But enough about me, let's talk about you," he said, extremely hyper.

"Well, my name is Raven Dal'ea Hunter Summers Pretty Pants Never-Does-Anything-Wrong Miss Perfect. My body is absolutely perfect, with a large bust, small waist, and perfect ass. Not one hair is out of place and I have no blemishes what-so-ever. . . Because I'm perfect," Raven Dal'ea Hunter Blah, Blah, Blah said happily. Ash and Brian. . Err. . Brock stared at her for about twenty seconds before saying "I love you" despite the fact they've only known her for, oh. . Two minutes/paragraphs?

Raven Dal'ea. . Um. . Let's just call her Raven, giggled ever-so perfectly, taking her slender hand up to her beautiful, red lips to cover her pearly white teeth while she laughed. BB Gun and Ash practically melted in her presence. Rainy, however, was far from impressed as the anger burned within her.

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**Word Count:** 432

**Endnote: **Well, this is the end of chapter one. Next chapter will probably be even funnier! Hopefully this guide will also help you to _stay away _from Pokemon Mary-Sues. Still, maybe this may be a sucky parody that no one will want to read. Either way, it's fun writing it!


	2. Character Development

**Disclaimer:** Why the hell am I making this? I mean, I don't own Pokemon, so what right do I have to meddle around in the Pokefairs (Pokemon Affairs)? . . . I don't own Pokemon. .

**Author's Note:** To 'writer's block 2000', thank you so much for the good review. Also, don't worry, I love Ash and them (well. . Not Misty), I'm just going to be using and abusing their characters. :evil laughter:

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**Remember, a PokeSue is only as good as (or better than) their Pokemon:**

"Hey, Ashy-boy, wanna have a battle?" asked Raven suddenly. Ash, being the smart, righteous boy he was, agreed, "sure!"

"Kick her ass, Ash," Orange Mc. Orange Orange, muttered. Raven giggled again, amused by Misty's anger. "Shut up, Misty!" Ash yelled, storming off to the other side of the field Raven. "I'll be the judge!" Barbeque offered, standing between Ash and Raven, off to the side, "begin!"

"Go, Suicune!" Raven threw out a Suicune. The Pokemon seemingly danced out of its Poke Ball in a graceful, swift step. Howling, the ice around its paws started to form. "Pikachu!" Ash threw Pikachu into the field, not even knowing what a Suicune was. "Pika. ." Pikachu groaned, landing on the ground. Raven giggled again, causing Ash to fall into submission.

"Suicune! Use the ever-so-awesome magically-super unstoppably-beautiful one-hit-KO attack!" Suicune did so, knocking out Pikachu in one hit. Automatically, Little Sue-sy Poo-Poo had won.

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**Also, you must make your Sue either friends or rivals to a canon in their past (this does not necessarily make your OC a Sue):**

Out of nowhere, Gary Stu, I mean. . Gary Oak walked onto the scene. "R-Raven?!" he gasped, looking over at his gorgeous rival. "Garykins!" Raven smiled, running up to hug him. She wrapped her strong, but delicate arms around Gary, giving him a huge bear hug. Gary, infatuated, hugged his rival back. Ash and Boulder (or was it Butch?) were stricken with utter jealousy.

"How do you know him, Raven?" Ash asked, holding back the urge to tear Gary limb from limb. Raven turned around, her beautiful, multi-colored hair following flawlessly. But we wouldn't expect any less from Ms. Mary-Sue, now would we?

"Garykins is my friend from a long time ago, but we were also somewhat rivals. Somehow I lived in Pallet Town. I met Garykins, but I never met you, Ash, which is weird since you lived there. How I know that is pretty scary, since we didn't meet back then," Raven smiled beautifully, finishing her unusually long and tedious dialogue.

"Wow, that's such an interesting story," Barry White smiled, showing his teeth while making them sparkle.

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**A confusing past is all the more Sue:**

An inquire had come up later that day. Ash asked about Raven's past. "Well," Suesy-Puesy started, "I was born in Pallet Town and raised by Team Rocket's boss Giovanni. He decided he hated me and disowned me, so I tried to destroy their organization. I would've succeeded, but I got bored with it and stopped. Once that was over, I was only five years old. I was adopted by Professor Oak, which would technically make Garykins and I related. I'd be his Aunt if this were true. Professor Oak thought that it was time for me to make it on my own after I was ten and sent me off on this journey, giving me an Aerodactyl as a starter Pokemon. Afterwards, I was taken to an island by some organization called Team Aqua. They raised me and gave me a Kyogre for being so awesome. But suddenly, Team Magma appeared and, for no apparent reason, gave me a Groudon. It was awesome, but it makes me wonder. . Why do people treat me so nicely? I mean, there was this guy who randomly gave me a Suicune. And some lady decided to help me catch an Entei. It was supposed to be for her, but since she saw how uberly perfect I was, she gave me the Entei. I was so happy! Raikou, though. . Now that's a different story!"

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**Word Count:** 602

**Endnote:** During Mary-Sue's past, all I pretty much did was write down random, stupid shit that came to my mind. . It was fun, though, and the way it turned out was pretty funny! You better have enjoyed it! :twitch/brain explode:


	3. Sue's Pokemon

**Disclaimer: **Do you guys even read the fact that I don't own Pokemon? Or am I just talking to the air?

**Author's Note: **(Wednesday, 11. . You'll see why this is important.) Well, I wish I could've uploaded this chapter earlier, but I couldn't because the stupid frudging Internet wasn't working. . Stupid Internet.

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**Another important thing about a Sue is. . Team Rocket. . Is always. . Scared of them! DUN, DUN, DUN!:**

So, Suesy Mc. Sue-Sue, a.k.a. Raven, and the gang were walking along the road. "Hey, where did Gary go?" Ash asked Raven. Raven smiled, "well, since I know everything, I know he walked away to go to another Pokemon Gym."

"Wow! You really do know everything!" Bobby Brown (I mean. . Brock) worshiped the very ground Suesical walked on. Suddenly, completely _un_expectedly, Team Rocket showed up! It was Cassidy and Butch. "Who's that!?" Ka-Soo-Me asked.

"To infect the world with devastation!"  
"To blight all peoples in every nation!"  
"To denounce the goodness of truth and love!"  
"To extend our wrath to the stars above!"  
"Cassidy!"  
"Bobby! . . I mean Butch!"  
"We get it all ready!" Ash interrupted. Raven put an arm in front of Ash, even though he made no move toward Team Rocket. "I'll handle it."

"Oh no!" Cassidy exclaimed, backing away from Raven, "It's Raven!" Butch gasped, "Raven! She scares me, Cassidy! I want my mummyyyyy!" Butch held onto Cassidy. "Get off of me, you idiot!" She tried angrily to push him off.

"Go, Raikou!" Raven tossed out her Raikou, which, by some miracle, listened to everything and anything the Sue said, "Raikou! Use Thunder!" Raikou charged up and unleashed a powerful Thunder attack on Cassidy and Butch. Oddly enough, they didn't fight back like they usually do. And win. . Like they usually do. But then lose later because justice always prevails! Ash. Is. Justice! Wait. . That's Death Note.

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**When a Sue has a Pokemon Battle against a Gym Leader, they always win. . And quickly:**

"Hey, look, it's Erika's Gym!" Raven pointed out, running up to the Gym that she's never been in before, but somehow knowing the Leader's name, "let's go!" They all ran in. Surprisingly, Ash and Judge Joe Brown were allowed in, even though in the actual anime only women and 'sensitive' men were allowed in that Gym.

"Oh, do you want to challenge me?" asked Erika as the author of the story tried to rush to the main point of this section. "Yes, I do, and I will win because I'm prettier than you. Oh, and perfect!" Raven flicked her hair over her shoulder. "Ya think?" Erika grabbed a Poke Ball, throwing out an Ivysaur. "Ivysaur!" it called; however, it was nowhere near as threatening as Raven's Pokemon.

"Go, Golduck!" Raven threw out her Golduck, "use Hydro Pump!" Despite the clear type disadvantage, Golduck's Hydro Pump completely eliminated Erika's Ivysaur. "Ivysaur, return," Erika returned her Ivysaur and tossed out a Gloom. "Golduck, hurry and finish this battle with Scratch!" Somehow, in some twisted reality (or. . fiction), Golduck defeated the powerful Gloom and won the battle. Raven got her badge and they all moved on.

Notice how the (usually) lazy author of the Mary-Sue story never puts in any detail because she doesn't want to go more than a few paragraphs without having something about their Sue in it. Stupid? Yes. Boring? Yes. Do I care? . . . . . . . . Depends. .

"Wow, Raven, you beat her so easily!" Ash drooled over the soon-to-be Pokemon Master. He didn't care that she could beat him in a heartbeat, so he didn't bother training to beat her because he was too _in love_ (gag me). "Yes, my Golduck and I have been together for a while somehow, even though I'm only 14," Raven said, her voice sounding like a choir of angels. Or was it more like cats scratching a chalkboard?

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**Word Count: **579

**End Note: **Stardate: Friday, the 13th. There is still no Internet. I am starting to grow cold an hungry. . And scared. Oh, Lord, save me! Alas (Err. . At last), Thursday, the 26th, I have Internet! :gasp!:


	4. GoodBye Suesy Poo

**Disclaimer:** Even though I love Pokemon, watch at least one of the movies every week, own so much Pokemon stuff, and wish I owned it because I'm a total nerd. . I don't.

**Author's Note:** Wow, this one took forever to get out. Well, it's the end! It's not as good as the other three parts, but there was really nothing more to cover.

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**Oh, Sue, how did you beat the Pokemon League?:**

"Wow! You actually beat the Pokemon league?" Ash asked. Raven, who kept a completely un-conceited attitude, nodded, "yes. . I did."

"How?" Ricky Bobby (:cough cough:Brock:cough cough:) asked.

"Well, it was really easy, actually. All I used was my Mewtwo and I wiped the floor with all the trainers. Even the ones that had Pokemon with clear type advantages over my Mewtwo." Raven smiled sweetly. Ash and Brock drooled over their completely perfect angel. How did she catch a Mewtwo, and how did it listen to her, you ask? The world my never know. .

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**Good-Bye Sue, We'll Miss You:**

"Well, it's been fun guys, but I'm off again. I must go to the Hoenn region now, then to Sinnoh. I shall destroy the world! . . . I mean, beat their Pokemon leagues," Raven giggled innocently. As she stalked off into the sun set, Ashy and Brocko followed after her for a brief moment only to grab her hands.

"Raven, will you marry me!?" They both asked in unison. Raven giggled, but shook her head 'no'.

"This is all your fault!" They yelled at each other, proceeding to fight over her. They only stopped when Pikachu shocked them to break them up. Raven, again, giggled. Misty, who was happy as hell to see Raven leave, went on her marry way, dragging along the hurt and electrocuted Ash and Brock.

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_The End. . Or is it?_

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**Word Count:** 277

**End Note:** If there's anything I've missed (excluding Pokemon contests and breeding), then please inform me and I'll write another part about that.


End file.
